SEX AT 68 I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68. I'm so happy, because I live at number 72.  So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.  And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road.

~~~~~ Answering machine message, "I am not available right now,

but thank you for caring enough to call.  I am making some changes in my life.  Please leave a message after the beep.  If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.  ~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.