Crabby Old Man

Crabby Old Man... 

What do you see nurses?. .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking. . ....... . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit. .. . . .. with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. . . ......... . the things that you do.
And for ever is losing . . . . . a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . ....... . The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse . . . ...... . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . .. .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . ...... . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten . . . . .. with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. . ...... who love one another.

A young boy of sixteen . ... . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . .... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty . . . . ... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five, now . . . ...... . I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of thirty . .. . . . my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons . . ... . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . .. . . . to see I don't mourn.
     At fifty, once more................. babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . ... my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . .. my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . ...... . . . young of their own.

And I think of the years .... . . .... . and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man .. . . ... ..... and nature is cruel.
T'is jest to make old age . . . .... . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigour, depart..
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ...... . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . .. . .... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . ... . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people . . . ....... . open and see.

Not a crabby old man .. ...... . . Look closer . .... . see ME!!

 

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too! 

... and a message to the crabby old man (or woman) please try not to be so crabby - the young are only there to help as much as they are able!

"Good friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth."

I've seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.

Whose business is it if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4am, or sleep until noon?  I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s and 70s, and if I , at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk on the beach in a swimming suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.  They too will get old.

I know I'm sometimes forgetful.  But there again some of life is just as well forgotten.  And eventually I remember the important things.

Over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what give use strength and understanding and compassion.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I'm so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs to be for ever etched into deep grooves on my face.  So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older it's easier to be positive.  You care less about what other people think.  I don't question myself any more.  I'v even earned the right to be wrong.

So to answer your question, I like being old; it's set me free.  I like the person I've become. I'm not going to live for ever but while I'm still here I won't waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.  And I shall eat chocolate every single day (if I feel like it).

How to tell when you're getting old

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel as if it's the morning after the night before - but you haven't been anywhere.



You get winded playing cards ...
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You know all the answers, but no-one asks you the questions.

You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the lights for financial reasons, not romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair but can't get it working.

Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
Your house is too big, but your medicine chest is too small
And your back goes out more than you do.

Jenny Candy

Grumpy Old Girl

In yesterday's Daily Telegraph someone of 62 was referred to as 'elderly'.  Well if that's elderly, then what are 72, 82, 91 and indeed 102? 


Other people perceive old is when we get  things such as wrinkles, liver spots, weakened hearing, incontinence problems and reduced mental ability - how depressing.  

The government must think that we're elderly at 60 or so, otherwise why would we be eligible for a winter fuel allowance? 

I think of 'elderly' as being frail and dependent on others for basic needs (see: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080903032103AAKEDcY), and 'old' as being 'getting on in years', as I am now.  I've only felt older since my mother passed on earlier this year, before that she was the older generation. So perhaps that's the answer to staying young - adopt a granny!


However, it seems I may be wrong (never!).  On the World Health Organisation site (http://www.who.int/healthinfo/survey/ageingdefnolder/en/index.html) over 60 can be classed as elderly, or even in some cultures as young as 50 or 55.  They go on to say that definitions of getting older include: 

• chronology; 
• change in social role (i.e. change in work patterns, adult status of children and menopause); and 
• change in capabilities (i.e. invalid status, senility and change in physical characteristics). 

with the change in social role being the biggest indicator.  

not me, just some else poking fun

Using the above criteria then perhaps I am elderly as I'm now more or less retired, have effectively been through the menopause (apart from the odd inconvenient hot flush) and the children are now grown up (well most of the time!).

If in a society privileges and status are linked to being elderly then people are more happy to be classed as elderly.  Japan is a good example of this.   But in western culture old age is looked upon as a disadvantage.  Thus the reluctance to be classified as old.  

When watching TV, for instance, I often feel that the older person, especially women, are completely ignored, ditto in fashion magazines.  Another definition is one I once heard that old age is 5 years older than one is at the time.  In that case old age starts at 66.  

As 'old' doesn't sound nearly as old as 'elderly', I'm going to stick with 'getting on a bit' or 'old' but not 'elderly' 'til many years hence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Running on from this, I've decided that as I'm nearly elderly then it's time that I started being a grumpy old git - or rather a grumpy old girl.

8th November: Todays grump is seeing a chap sitting in an Asda groceries delivery van, sitting texting, with the engine still running chucking out fumes and ruining our environment.

22 November: Saw cookie cutters for sale in a shop - when did we stop eating biscuits?  The only advantage I can see with this is that 'cookie cutter' trips off the tongue better than 'biscuit cutter'.  Or perhaps it's that cookies are softer so are easier to eat?

23 November:  Is being old when younger members of the family only contact you/see you 'out of duty'?  Not because it's fun.

4 December:  It says in the Daily Telegraph that the over-55s are more likely to be victims of fraud because they are less able to recognise untrustworthy faces, research suggests.  Studies using MRI scanning found that older people had less active response in a region of the brain known as the anterior insula, which is linked to disgust.
Skills for making good financial decisions deteriorate from the early to mid-50s, with the classic victim of fraud being a 55-year-old man who was vulnerable to missing facial cues that are 'easily distinguished'.

A few more:

• Road rage, being 'cut up'on the motorway, twice, in the past two weeks.