1st: 'Authorities are reluctant to ban bungee jumping in case they drive it underground'. (Radio 4, reported in a letter to the Guardian)
2nd: A pet-shop owner in Manchester left a rabbit in a hutch outside his shop. It ended up with a parking ticket. (Daily Mail)
3rd: Whenever I feel I am being ripped off I buy shares in the company involved. My investment in Nokia has more than paid for all my mobile phones and bills (letter seen in the Daily Telegraph).
4th: It is possible that an asteroid will strike Earth on 21 March 2014 with a force 8 million times more powerful than the Hiroshima atom bomb - but the odds against it are 909,000 to 1 (Independent).
5th:
6th: To celebrate the Queen's 1953 Coronation the Independent on Sunday unearthed '53 things you never knew about 1953'. They included:
- McDonalds insisted that the design for their restaurants would have golden arches. Architects scoffed and predicted that the chain would not last.
- Disney's Peter Pan was released, with Tinkerbell modelled on Marilyn Monroe.
7th: Several years ago, when the idea of an all-women team was mooted at the Kendal Rugby Club in Cumbria, one man said women were more than welcome to join the club 'if they clean the toilets and tidy up outside'. Guardian
8th: From a letter to Telegraph several years ago:
Sir, I have happy childhood memories of sitting in the organ loft in a small village church in Cumbria playng 'spot the nursery rhyme'. My father would insert snippets of Three Blind Mice (in the style of Bach), etc.
Thirty years on he is an expert at this art. After one recent service the vicar made a tentative inquiry about the music. My father smiled enigmatically but confessed to us later that it was Knees up Mother Brown - in the style of Bach, of course.
Heather Venables, Derbyshire
9th: The Frog
What a wonderful bird the frog are!
When he stand he sit almost;
When he hop he fly almost.
He ain't got no sense hardly;
He ain got no tail hardly either.
When he sit, he sit on what he ain't got almost.
Anon
10th: As we draw nearer to the centenary of the beginning of the First World (the War to end all Wars) here is a people by one of the greatest of the war poets:
Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)
"Anthem for a Doomed Youth"
11 November
Do you know which side you should wear your poppy? Apparently it's left side for boys and right side for girls. And why is that you may ask?
Apparently it dates back to when people wore corsages when out for the evening at a ball. When a man and woman were dancing together the woman's left side and the man's right would touch each other and thus coursages were worn on the other side to avoid them being ruined.
13 November: It's just been in the paper that the floor of a 53 year old hoarder collapsed under their weight of his possessions and he and his possessions ended up falling from his bedroom through to the ground floor. It took emergency services some time to actually find him. (Note to self: STOP HOARDING!)
16 November: Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." --Albert Camus
23 November: The only thing that should be separate by colour is laundry.
27 November: For blackheads: Take gel facial wash and mix with a tbsp of baking soda & a tbsp of salt. Apply to damp skin with cotton pad; leave for 5 mins.
28 November: The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astronavigators used to stand out on the plant (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side because that was the side that you put in on at the port. This was so that they didn't knock off the star board!
29 November: All the cobble stones that used to line the streets in New York were originally weighting stones put in the hulls of Belgian ships to keep an even keel.
30 November: There are lots of funny sayings on this blog: http://funnysayings.webs.com/oxymoronssenselessness.htm so I shall leave the rest of November to her!!
8th: From a letter to Telegraph several years ago:
Sir, I have happy childhood memories of sitting in the organ loft in a small village church in Cumbria playng 'spot the nursery rhyme'. My father would insert snippets of Three Blind Mice (in the style of Bach), etc.
Heather Venables, Derbyshire
9th: The Frog
What a wonderful bird the frog are!
When he stand he sit almost;
When he hop he fly almost.
He ain't got no sense hardly;
He ain got no tail hardly either.
When he sit, he sit on what he ain't got almost.
Anon
10th: As we draw nearer to the centenary of the beginning of the First World (the War to end all Wars) here is a people by one of the greatest of the war poets:
Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)
"Anthem for a Doomed Youth"
from: http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1914warpoets.html and http://www.greatwar.co.uk/poems/john-mccrae-in-flanders-fields.htmWhat passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
--Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries for them from prayers or bells,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,-
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.
What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of silent minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.
11 November
Do you know which side you should wear your poppy? Apparently it's left side for boys and right side for girls. And why is that you may ask?
Apparently it dates back to when people wore corsages when out for the evening at a ball. When a man and woman were dancing together the woman's left side and the man's right would touch each other and thus coursages were worn on the other side to avoid them being ruined.13 November: It's just been in the paper that the floor of a 53 year old hoarder collapsed under their weight of his possessions and he and his possessions ended up falling from his bedroom through to the ground floor. It took emergency services some time to actually find him. (Note to self: STOP HOARDING!)
16 November: Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." --Albert Camus
23 November: The only thing that should be separate by colour is laundry.
27 November: For blackheads: Take gel facial wash and mix with a tbsp of baking soda & a tbsp of salt. Apply to damp skin with cotton pad; leave for 5 mins.
28 November: The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astronavigators used to stand out on the plant (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side because that was the side that you put in on at the port. This was so that they didn't knock off the star board!
29 November: All the cobble stones that used to line the streets in New York were originally weighting stones put in the hulls of Belgian ships to keep an even keel.
30 November: There are lots of funny sayings on this blog: http://funnysayings.webs.com/oxymoronssenselessness.htm so I shall leave the rest of November to her!!
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