25 March 2013



HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT? 

You have to try this. It is absolutely true.  I suppose there are some things that the brain cannot handle.


Apparently this came from an orthopaedic surgeon ...  you'll probably keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't.  It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1.
 While sitting at your de
sk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.
And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is over you're going to try it again, if you haven't already.


WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

                                                                            
                                                                            
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!                                     
                                                                            
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!                                   
                                                                            
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!                           
                                                                            
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary... 

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. 



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now ...



No comments:

Post a Comment