29 May 2014

I've just found half an article on why life is so much easier once you past the dreaded 4-0. The whole article would have been far more interesting but the piece which remains does throw up some interesting ideas ...

If you worry less about what people think of you, you can pick up an astonishing amount of information about them.  You no longer leave conversations wondering what just happened.  Other people's minds and motives are finally revealed.

People are constantly trying to shape how you view them.  In certain extreme cases, they seem to be transmitting a personal motto, such as: 'I have a relaxed parenting style!'; 'I earn in the low six figures!'; 'I'm authentic and don't try to project an image!'.

Eight hours of continuous unmedicated sleep is one of life's great pleasures.

There are no grown-ups.  We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher meetings.  Everyone is winging it; some just do it more confidently.

There are no soul mates.  Not in the traditional sense, at least.  Apparently each person has not one but more like 30 soul mates walking the earth.  Soul mate isn't a pre-existing condition, it's a earned title, made over time.

You'll miss out on some near soul mates.  This goes for friendships too. There will be unforgettable people with whom you have shared an excellent evening or a few days.  Now they live in Hong Kong, and you will never see them again.  That's how life is.

Emotional scenes are tiring and pointless.  You and your partner know your ritual arguments so well, you can have them in a tenth of the time!

Forgive your exes, even the awful ones.  They were just winging it, too.

When you meet someone extremely charming, be cautious instead of dazzled.  By your forties, you've got better at spotting narcissists before they ruin your life.  You know that 'nice' isn't a sufficient quality for friendship but it's a necessary one.

People's youthful quirks can harden into adult pathologies.  What's adorable at 20 can be worrisome at 30 and dangerous at 40.  Also, at 40, you see the outlines of what your peers will look like when they're 70.

More about you is universal than not universal.  Apparently we are 95% cohort, 5% unique and knowing this is a bit of a disappointment, and a bit of a relief.

But you find your tribe. By your forties you no longer want to be with the cool people, you want to be with your people.

Just say, 'No'.  Never suggest lunch with people you don't want to have lunch with.  They will be much less disappointed than you think.

You don't have to decide whether God exists.  Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't.  But when you're already worrying that the security services are reading your emails it's better not to know whether yet another entity is watching you.

If you're invited to lunch with someone who works in the fashion industry, do not wear your most 'fashionable' outfit - wear black.

If you like the outfit on the mannequin, buy exactly what's on the mannequin.  Do not try to recreate the same look by yourself.

It's OK if you don't like jazz.

When you're wondering whether she's his daughter or his girlfriend, she's his girlfriend.

When you're unsure if it's a woman or a man, it's a woman.

From Stella magazine

... and here are a few ideas from the Daily Record (not a paper I'm used to reading): http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/40-reasons-to-enjoy-turning-40-967618.
And: http://microrrelatososhortstories.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/recap-thinking-about-turning-40/

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