WHY EARRING SIZE MATTERS
from an article by Kate Finnegan in The Telegraph last autumn .....
Multiple piercings are now not enough. The designer collections for autumn are full of big, big, BIG earrings. By the way - you do all have your regulation multiple ear piercings, don't you?
They're compulsory for anyone working in the fashion industry; five per lobe is not unusual.
I feel a bit lame with a sum total of four.
And - I digress - when I went into the beauty salon for that fourth piercing, I had a wait behind a string of giggling nine-year-olds having manicures. What gives? Fortysomething rocking up for another piercing, nine-year-olds doing Saturday-morning manis! The end of nigh. But we all know that.
Anyway, back to important matters: big earrings ...
Exhibit A: Miu Miu has brought back the chandelier. Big, flowery studs with jewel-like drops; a straight raid of Granny's dressing table.
Exhibit B; Balenciaga's crystal clip-on earrings - you don't even need the piercings.
And these aren't even the biggest - I've seen huge, abstract creations that might be mistaken for mobiles to hang over a pretentious baby's cradle.
My advice: don't wear anything that will put your neck out. Nevertheless, this is the perfect season for a sizeable bobby-dazzler. Dark nights and party invitations demand decoration and sparkle.
If you don't want to do the head-to-toe eccentric-luxe look that Prada, Miu Miu, Gucci and Dries Van Noten all deem en vogue, you can let your ears pay tribute. Load them with treasures.
They don't have to be expensive and, heavens, they certainly don't need to be real. This is about costume and drama, not your net worth.
Give your lobes the Liberace treatment and your simple sweater and trousers will be transformed into something to light up the night.