How to tell when you're getting old
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel as if it's the morning after the night before - but you haven't been anywhere.
You get winded playing cards ...
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You know all the answers, but no-one asks you the questions.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the lights for financial reasons, not romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair but can't get it working.
Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
Your house is too big, but your medicine chest is too small
And your back goes out more than you do.